太阳，太阳，太阳

2020

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我最近时常想着生命结束时候的颤栗的感觉会是怎样的，也许像是枫叶最后掉在马路上，发出的清脆的响声。知识是没法抚平灵魂上的褶皱的，就像是个人的爱难以温暖到别人。我在寒冷的冬天中做出最后一次对待初雪的激动，像是被困在开头一般，再次被困在了这个冬天的结尾。在期待之中的我是最勇敢的，期待着死亡的可能，和被世界裹挟而过所产生的豁然。如果我拥有的这一刻注定是马上熄灭的火苗，那么在何时离开与何时到来就没那么重要。我的思想与产出，我的愤怒与爱是我的宇宙的全部，却是大宇宙的一滴马上就会蒸腾而起的水。一粒孤独的水想伸出触角去感受其他人的温度，却被太阳的灼烧成了烟。太阳在这一刻提醒的不仅是外界的温暖，还有我所处方寸之地的阴霾寒冷。

Sun, sun, sun

2020

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Recently, I often think about the trembling feeling at the end of my life, perhaps like the crisp sound of a maple leaf finally falling on the road. Knowledge cannot heal the wrinkles in the soul, just like personal love cannot warm others. In the cold winter, I made my last excitement for the first snow, as if I was trapped at the beginning, and was trapped at the end of this winter again. In anticipation, I am the bravest, looking forward to the possibility of death and the suddenness of being engulfed by the world. If the moment I have is destined to be a flame that goes out immediately, then when I leave and when I arrive is not so important. My thoughts and output, my anger and love are all of my universes, but it is a drop of water that will immediately evaporate from the universe. A lonely piece of water wanted to stretch out its tentacles to feel the temperature of other people but was burned into smoke by the sun. What the sun reminds me at this moment is not only the warmth of the outside world but also the haze and cold of the place I have prescribed.